What Speak Your Truth Really Means…
Oprah and others have stated that “speaking your truth” can be a powerful tool. It can indeed. However, in order to wield this tool, like anything else, we must first understand the true spirit of a statement like “speak your truth”. Because if we don’t, we’ll end up misappropriating the phrase to such aspects that aren’t worthy of it, or worse – things that can be harmful. In today’s lesson, I (Phil Svitek) talk about the notion of speaking your truth. I first started thinking about what speak your truth really means when I, Tonya came out last year. It’s a biographical film, which depicts the story of talented figure skater Tonya Harding as she becomes the first American woman to complete a triple axel during a competition. In 1994, her world comes crashing down when her ex-husband conspires to injure Nancy Kerrigan, a fellow Olympic hopeful, in a poorly conceived attack that forces the young woman to withdraw from the national championship. Harding’s life and legacy instantly become tarnished as she’s forever associated with one of the most infamous scandals in sports history. Based on the title alone, you can probably tell this film is from the perspective of Tonya Harding. This film went on to create a lot of Oscar buzz and it brought back Tonya Harding into the spotlight in what I would call revisionist history. Meaning suddenly she was a brave woman for speaking her truth. All the while I thought what the hell does Nancy Kerrigan think about all this. I’m sure it can’t be anything pleasant. See, therein lies the danger of a phrase like speak your truth for me. Because it’s not the objective truth. It’s a perspective. More specifically, your perspective. Speaking your truth is a very noble sentiment. However it gets tricky since we also value tolerance and wide ranging thoughts and opinions. And at no point do you want to assign someone else’s truth better or worse than yours. Inherently that is what happens with a phrase like speak your truth. It implies a concrete statement, often times with blind certainty, that negates the other person’s perspective. I’ll unpack how to apply “speak your truth” in the correct way using many examples including The Devil Wears Prada starring Anne Hathaway. Comment below with thoughts, opinions, personal experiences, questions, etc.
Stick with the Problem Lesson: https://philsvitek.com/stick-with-the-problem-longer/
Devil Wears Prada Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6sQ70RGUF0
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AfterBuzz Contact Page: http://www.afterbuzztv.com/contact-faq/#toggle-id-18
Devil Wears Prada DVD: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B009EEKPWQ/ref=as_li_qf_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=philsvitek-20&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B009EEKPWQ&linkId=f3e6701d97f1b1495be1a3f4e7a13e90
I, Tonya Anatomy of a Movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfLkw9uIKfE
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Transcript:
For today’s lesson I want to talk about the notion of speaking your truth. It’s a phrase I’ve been hearing more and more from people around me and in the news.
I want to talk about it today because I feel as though there are people that misunderstand this notion and therefore apply it incorrectly. I first started thinking about what speak your truth really means when I, Tonya came out last year. It’s a biographical film, which in and of itself has become a very loose term these days. Anyway, it depicts the story of talented figure skater Tonya Harding as she becomes the first American woman to complete a triple axel during a competition. In 1994, her world comes crashing down when her ex-husband conspires to injure Nancy Kerrigan, a fellow Olympic hopeful, in a poorly conceived attack that forces the young woman to withdraw from the national championship. Harding’s life and legacy instantly become tarnished as she’s forever associated with one of the most infamous scandals in sports history. If you haven’t seen the film it’s worth checking out for the reasons I’m about to highlight. Also, to get more details on the history and the making of, check out my weekly series Anatomy of a Movie where we covered this film at length.
Based on the title alone, you can probably tell this film is from the perspective of Tonya Harding. This film went on to create a lot of Oscar buzz and it brought back Tonya Harding into the spotlight in what I would call revisionist history. Meaning suddenly she was a brave woman for speaking her truth. All the while I thought what the hell does Nancy Kerrigan think about all this. I’m sure it can’t be anything pleasant.
See, therein lies the danger of a phrase like speak your truth for me. Because it’s not the objective truth. It’s a perspective. More specifically, your perspective. Speaking your truth is a very noble sentiment. However it gets tricky since we also value tolerance and wide ranging thoughts and opinions. And at no point do you want to assign someone else’s truth better or worse than yours. Inherently that is what happens with a phrase like speak your truth. It implies a concrete statement, often times with blind certainty, that negates the other person’s perspective.
For those who tune into this show regularly know that I’m not a fan of rigid thinking. Well, this is what blind certainty can create, which is the worst danger of all. As a society, whether on a small or large scale, how can we move forward with blind certainty. It closes us off from actually listening to people. Hearing another’s perspective on a matter can be quite beneficial. It allows us a viewpoint into why they think certain things. It teaches us. Whether or not the other person changes or learns is beyond your control. But without the understanding for yourself, you’re no better.
This kind of close mindedness, for me, is a form of narcissism or simple laziness. You don’t want to take the time to see the other perspective. That is how historically the best advancements happened – when people came together and discussed problems.
Too often now I see people use the phrase, “well, I’m just speaking my truth” as a license for indifference. Or arrogance. This line of thinking leads to one place. Misery. You’ll be forever piss-off and unhappy. Does that sound appealing to you? I think not.
Not only will you be miserable, but what you’re also inadvertently doing is dismissing other people’s hardships and allowing yourself to be a victim in situations that you probably aren’t. Allow me to play you a clip from The Devil Wears Prada to illustrate this point.
Juliet Vibert is the one who introduced me to this movie, so thank you Juliet. It really is a great film. Hopefully by watching that scene you can see that Anne Hathaway’s character really isn’t interested in doing the best job. She wants life to be easy for her. In her mind she has created her truth which is that she’s abused and that nothing can go right for her. She has self-identified as the victim even though she is not. She wants her cake and to eat it too. Luckily, Stanley Tucci’s character speaks his truth and offers her the perspective she’s been lacking.
Mind you, at no point did I condemn the phrase speak your truth. The examples given are ones where people aren’t following the spirit of the phrase. They’re using it for a kind of personal gain. What I aim at is for us to truly understand what it means and to apply it in a beneficial form. As someone who studies storytelling across all mediums, movies, books, TV, etc. I’ll tell you a little secret. Even the person who you think is the worst person in the world and perhaps truly evil, doesn’t really believe he or she is a bad person. No one believes they are evil. It’s all just a matter of perspectives and values. All forms of so-called evil do stem from otherwise good values taken to an absolute extreme. In this example I have highlighted how speak your truth can be taken to the extreme of narcissism, close mindedness, arrogance and indifference. If we stopped to think longer, I’m sure we could come up with more traits that come into play when speak your truth is take to an extreme. The most dangerous form of it though is highlighted in the use of the sentence, “well, I’m just speaking my truth.” Through those words, it becomes the negation of the negation. Narcissism masked in good intention. So much so that the person who is saying that doesn’t even know they are doing it. Again, goes back to the idea of blind certainty, which can be classified as a default setting. Such patterns and behaviors can only be broken when examined. Seems Socrates said it best, “an unexamined life is not worth living.”
So let’s examine what speaking your truth truly, pun intended, means. Yahoo Political editor Garance Franke-Ruta says, “Sometimes you know something is real and happened and is wrong, even if the world says it’s just the way things are. It’s a call to activism rooted in the individual story, grounded in personal experience.”
Another way to view it is that speaking your truth allows people who are rarely heard to tell their story and therefore learn that they are not alone. It enables individual experiences to connect with others and can lead to fighting systemic issues.
Now this is just one perspective. You might even say it’s my truth. You are free of course to think of if what you will. Please don’t just dismiss it. As David Foster Wallace says, “the only thing that’s capital-T True is that you get to decide how you’re gonna try to see it.”
Here’s some quick info before you head off. First, the transcript of this episode is in the description – that way you can review the lesson at your convenience. Do leave us a comment. We’re always excited to read what you share. If you enjoyed this lesson, please be sure to hit that like button and tell your friends and family about us. Also, you can support this show on patreon.com/philsvitek. Every contribution is truly appreciated. To be notified when future episodes release, subscribe on either Apple Podcast or YouTube. Plus, the show is now available on Google Play. Lastly, if you’re a new host or college student seeking an internship in the LA area and would like to join AfterBuzz, visit AfterBuzz TV’s contact page. A direct link is provided. Or of course you can Tweet @PhilSvitek or Instagram me @BonjourJuliet. Thanks for watching. I’m Juliet Vibert, a producer on the show and we’ll see you next week with another one of Phil’s lessons.
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